A W K W A R D
The word defines me. Mother should have
named me that – awkward.
My right foot came in front of my left
when I tried walking. I was one.
I tripped, fell and looked around, dazed.
A W K W A R D.
Math teacher wanted a
Math textbook for the
Math oral exam.
I ran clutching mine, the idea of her possessing MY textbook
for the examination, gave me the happiness of winning a marathon.
So, I ran.
hair flying everywhere/ limbs gone awry and
thrust the book right at her hand which
rested on a book. The collision tore the book.
her book, not mine.
I haven’t seen a face redder than hers till date.
There I stood being at the podium and in one moment,
someone punched me right at my stomach.
There you go – awkward.
Until, I met her.
Just like that, the jigsaw puzzle I was trying to solve for 12 years
had a face.
Apparently, I was holding the last piece in the wrong direction.
Effortlessly, we held hands and tiptoed our way right through
boys diwalis tears and broken hearts
bunny-teeth acne algebra and mondays.
Ours was an origami that no one could create
morse code communications no one could decipher.
Friendship so rock solid that no permutations or combinations could do us apart.
11 years ago, we met.
9 years ago, she left.
It’s been 108 months yet my closet of reasoning stays empty
but I have a room full of questions.
The four walls scream/ the ceiling a volatile emotional mess/ the floor
strewn with all pieces of puzzles and
no two pieces fit anymore.
I am done with it.
I am going to lock the door today and heat the key
in the furnace till it melts, evaporates and ceases to exist
for the naked eyes.
I trip/ I fall/ I stutter when new faces appear/I break things/
I am awkward,
But dropping the glass is sweeter than
stepping on the shards of someone else’s fault.
I don’t need faux magicians anymore.
This poem, is NOT for her.
because I don’t write poetry for airplanes that never take off
and this one was engineered wrong.
This is for YOU. Remember,
Somethings are better left lost.